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Sep. 11th, 2007


In the Aftermath

Friday’s meeting was weird; I am just going to throw that out there. It was an hour and a half one on one session talking about my personality. I found myself arguing the stupidest things:
“No really, I should have got high marks in frankness”
“No, no. Harmony, you have +10 to diplomacy. Clearly if you had wanted to say what you thought so much, you shouldn’t have put so many feats into tact.” Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that much like D&D, but I swear it was close. I wanted to argue further! I was very honest! I decided to let it drop. She continued…”looks like you have high marks with endurance and ingenuity. Also you are very logical—”
“What?” I felt the need to interrupt. I wasn’t logical, I was illogical. Creative…
“—and you are not very spontaneous” She was ignoring me now. My preconceived notions were going to hell.
“Not spontaneous?”
“Right, because you are not intuitive…”
“Excuse me?” this was ridiculous. I was intuitive. Highly intuitive: and I had other personality tests to prove it.
“Because you are so analytical. And you will probably never be an introvert, sometimes you can’t change nature.”

The thing is, I think I need to stop trying to categorize myself and just go be myself. I do analyze—over analyze—nearly everything. I think I will take up extreme sports

Aug. 22nd, 2007



One of my guy friends from my work just told me that he doesn’t think that he has a shot with me....

What am I suppose to say to that? I feel bad because it is true. Not that I want someone necessarily better so much as different. For starters, he is not a Christian, and that is an absolute.

And really, unless it is THE ONE, I don’t have a lot of time to date right now. I am just starting to work toward my dreams. If a relationship isn’t going to last, then I don’t have time to string it along for a few months.

That sounds cold, I know it really does. And I am not saying that those relationships aren’t important. People that come into our lives even for a short time do impact it; but isn’t that even more reason to carefully guard who we let those people be. Some of them, however nice they may be, will only muck up the works.

Not that I actually do that very well. On the contrary, I tend to easily let any one who wants to be my friend into my life. Only I am not sure that that is the best policy, yet the alternative seems cold; protecting yourself at the cost of withholding friendship? When I ask myself if God would do that I know the answer immediately. No, of course not. Looking at only what positive things someone can bring you in friendship rather than the positive things that you can bring someone else is not right. You just can’t let them influence you to become someone that you are not.

That turned into a tangent, in other news:

I have started studying for the GRE and looking into different programs to get my Masters. I am trying to fight the fear that I won't get in anywhere--that I am not good enough. But I would rather try and fail than not try at all.

Between studying and training for the half I am just going to cut back my social life; I also have a lot of paintings that I need to finish.

Jul. 19th, 2007



I love this song:

Are you there?
Are you watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
They say you feel what I do
They say you’re here every moment
Will you stay?
Stay ‘till the darkness leaves
Stay here with me
I know you’re busy, I know I’m just one
But you might be the only one who sees me
The only one to save me

Why is it so hard?
Why can’t you just take me?
I don’t have much to go
Before I fade completely

Can you feel how cold I am?
Do you cry as I do?
Are you lonely up there all by yourself?
Like I have felt all my life
The only one to save mine

How are you so strong?
What’s it like to feel so free?
Your heart is really something
Your love, a complete mystery to me

Are you there watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
Do you cry, do you cry with me?
Cry with me tonight

Are you there?
Are you watching me?

~Kelly Clarkson

Quick thoughts

God is amazing. Why does he care so much about me?

I really miss singing. I feel like lately I have thrown all my free time that I can devote to art to paining and thus my singing and writing have been abandoned. Obviously I need to quit my job so I have time for my hobbies.

What should I get my mom for her birthday?

Jun. 13th, 2007



I can't believe that I missed John Mayer in concert WITH Ben Folds! This will not happen again!


By July 26 I can get out to see them in Uniondale, NY....

Jun. 11th, 2007


(no subject)

I want to start a band. Correction: I have always wanted to start a band, but I have been to afraid to try. Now, however, there is nothing to stop me.

Well, there is a lot to stop me, but I don't want to stop myself before someone else even gets the chance to stop me.

I think I will take some music classes this fall at NSCC.

Jun. 1st, 2007


New assignment!

Write a poem with syllables descending as it goes on, then change the direction of the poem (happy to sad, dismal to triumphant, etc) and end with the same number of syllables in the last line as was in the first! Here is my example:

She sits in shadows shifting; twilight 9
Has come and gone—slowly sinking 8
In despair, dead in moonlight 7
Swirls of suns setting 6
Her hope in highlights— 5
Fortes forgetting 4
Every light 3
Looking. 2
Might, 1
Fleeting. 2
Yet the knight, 3
He is coming 4
She coils—contrite 5
Sundered soul stopped trusting 6
One who’d tarry to incite 7
Anguish, and arrive—abounding 8
Still with love lasting—this her birthright. 9

May. 25th, 2007


Oh the glory!

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Intuition

You are:

A true wordsmith - a master of words
Original, spontaneous, and a true inspiration
Highly energetic, up for any challenge
Entertaining and engaging, both to friends and strangers

You Are Most Like Gisele Bundchen

Slightly exotic and perfectly gorgeous

You Should Have Been Born Under:

You've got a ton of energy - and need plenty of room to roam.
You tend to follow your whims, and it's hard for you to stick to one thing.
Specific jobs, loves, and friends are always changing and never a part of your life for long.
Very intuitive, you tend to know what people are thinking before they say a word.

You are most compatible with a Dog or Tiger.

And Yet...
Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

May. 23rd, 2007


Sorry. Please leave a message past the sleep...

Look at that sentience up there; it is my title for this little blog, this short collection of letters and words. Does it make any sense at all? No. No it really doesn't, and here is why: I left my house before five this morning. YAWN!
No, really, I did. My work schedule demands it. However I am really not as tired as I thought I might be. I am actually doing quite well, all things considered. In the winter, I will be driving to work.
I want to write something amazing and profound. Unfortunately, everything I have been writing hasn't been turning out so well-thus far anyway.
Maybe I will take a nap when I get home.

Random thought:
Sometimes I really wish I could go into the past and relive a moment, or a section of days that is so far gone it seems as if I will never see it again. But I can't.

May. 2nd, 2007



Your results:
You are Catwoman
Dark Phoenix
Poison Ivy
The Joker
Dr. Doom
Lex Luthor
Mr. Freeze
Green Goblin
With a troubled past and an upbringing on the streets you have learned how to fend for yourself through crime.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

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